Friday, October 25, 2013

What to Do When Your Man Needs Some Space or a Break From The Relationship

There comes a time in a relationship when everything seems to be falling apart or already at the verge of doing so, and your partner wants out. Whatever the reason he is giving, you are not happy because even the so-called small issues are big deals to you especially when you value your relationship. But you have to ask yourself, what kind of relationship do you have?

Now, if I haven't mentioned this before, my very bad. Relationships are of two types: you are either going out with a kid who doesn't know what exactly he wants and can't even place why he is with you and definitely will always play around at any given chance (most times wouldn't wait for a chance at all) or a man who is intelligently matured enough to realize what he wants, why he is involved with you, why he chose you and why he must always make it up to you.

When you are dating someone immature, it doesn't precisely mean he is  first year under-graduate, he's always on the rainbow color attires, can't live without his different colors of snapbacks & the hugest frames of ray bans, really dying to have a tattoo of Nicki Minaj's butt on his arm, NO! At the same time, you might not be able to classify dating a fourth year graduate, always in a suit-and-tie, hardly have time to club type of person as dating a man. It's all about the mind and mentality. I may list how to recognize a man from a boy, but that is a post for another day.

Today, we're talking about what happens when these two set of guys need space and why?

1. Why your 'immature boyfriend' needs space: Let's say it is beginning to dawn on him that he doesn't even have a purpose for himself in your relationship let alone you. Maybe he doesn't have the guts to tell you it was just infatuation that brought him closer to you, but he just needs to get rid of you anyway. It might be that he believes your session in his dramatic life is over, to begin a new one he needs to eradicate you completely.

The only way he can do so is by telling you he wants space even though he has no good reason what that space will buy him. What do you do? It pains me to still have to tell you to create a large one for him wherever he wants to go! Just excuse yourself from him and everything that involves him, don't even talk to him! Till he's grown and mature anyway.

2. Why your 'man boyfriend' needs space: Ladies we all know some of us can be tough nuts to crack and no matter how perfect a guy will ever want to claim, some of us will make a mountain out of a mole hill. Your relationship has a purpose, thanks not to only you but your man also, it takes two to tango. If that purpose is missing, you may not want to let go, because you have other reasons why you think it should work.

If in a situation when your man demands for space, that means maybe you both communicate better than you think. But, if he knows you will be hurt, he may never say those words 'babe, I need some space' to your face because he wouldn't want to hurt your feelings. If so, you may have to be the one to decipher his change of attitude and most times his routine with you will change too. If he does say them whether you are hurt or not, maybe he is nonchalant about your feelings at some certain moments.

Here are some reasons your man may be pulling away from you;

- Maybe he thinks you're choking/ rushing  him, which you really might be,

- He might have critical issues at work

- He think you are not fit for another phase in his life,

The least you can do for any of these scenarios is to re-assure him of how you can help rather than be an extra problem. If he likes you and doesn't just want to annoyingly get rid of you, he will ask for space. At this point, don't go all crazy dear, chillax! He is human too remember, and he is prone to mood swings too just as you are, why not be considerate?

So what do you do? Give him the space! By so doing, you give him the liberty of re-sizing his options, re-scaling how much you worth to him, if he's going to be all fine without you. I bet he may soon be back like he never heard the word 'space' before let alone acting the need of one. That means he really never wanted you two apart, he just needed re/assurance of your relationship.

PS - If he doesn't come back, then probably, the relationship was not meant to be.

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